My Horrible Day

Today is the 16th of April 2012,the day I fail my JPJ test due to a really Mean Malay Women somehow I'm sure did most of my driving correctly including the one on the road and going up the hill.But that women did not allow me to pass because she said I was going to touch the white line as I reverse slowly.Somehow I'm sure I will not touch the line because I had many lessons and I have eyes to see the mirror to know how close I am to the white line but luck was not on my side today even doe I pray before I sleep,my arguement with the JPJ was still not good enough so I called my instructor to talk to that women.But as my instructor tried and tried to settle the problem,in return the JPJ women was really mean and rude to my instructor.Eventually the car was driven away by a man that works for the JPJ,and there was no more futher arguement or evidence and so she stamp my papers and 'Fail' me...

That women was really rude to other's Chinese drivers aswell,and to futher makes things worst,the re-take test was going to be held on the 14th of May because of the number of students there...

And I couldn't wait that long so I decided to go on a seach on my own.As soon as I reach home after the test,I walked and asked one after another driving school to find the earliest JPJ test that is available.

And I found 1 particular driving school that can help me with that problem,so the next JPJ test will be held on the 30th of April but on the 29th of April there will be a 2 hour lesson that I will have to attend to...

So I decided to choose that school as I was tired and thirsty after the long arguement between the JPJ.

It was not much of a choice and I cant be picky,but the reason why I rush the date was because of someone.I did it because of someone I love,that someone is my girlfriend Sheau Veon...

I know I have fail her today,I know she is dissapointed that I did not pass,now I am ashamed and sad because of this....

I always wanted to see my girlfriend,
I always wanted to see her smile,
I always wanted to see her laughther,

And I always wanted her to be proud to have someone like me to be with her,

because those are the things that made me feel lucky and grateful to god to have her...

Because the longer I can't see her the more I miss her,and eventually something in my heart will felt lost....

I am willing to walk all the way from my house to meet her

because not seeing her for a week is already hard enough,

And if one day I have my driving lisence then I want to see my girlfriend every week at least once.Even when me or her have nothing to talk about but just seeing her makes me smile and it keep my heart warm with love and joy.

So that's why I am sad because of this,I'm not worried about the money that I will have to pay for the test,just the heart of someone I love....

I feel really sad because I have failed today,the only thing that makes me feel better now is if I tell myself a lie,yes a lie,I kept telling myself that today is not the JPJ test day,and it was just a dream that made me feel this way,my real JPJ test will be on the 30th of April.

Because the truth is so hard to face,I dare not face it myself when many people are on my side today in that arguement,it's like you're putting and inocent man into a jail,how could anyone do that because of your race?Why must Malay people only help back Malay people to pass,why can't they be equal to all?

I fail to believe I did anything wrong when I did the Parking test today because I knew it was what my intructor had taught me,and she taught me the formula that is sure to pass,it's just I don't know why they fail me...

If only my girlfriend was with me right now,I would hugged her so tight and tell her that I'm sad and I need her.
With her,I don't ever wanna look back at the sad things that happen to me,I just want to look forward to the happy things will do together with her in the future...
My girlfriend Sheau Veon is all that I have that remind's me what true love is,
And I need that love,because it makes me strong and brave,it give me hope even when there is non left,
Love is the thing that my BM teacher taught me when I was just form 3,

He said:-
Love makes us strong,
Love makes us do brave things in life that we won't normally do for people,
Without love you are lost,
So harvest it,and don't let it go,
Because to find someone you love,is not easy,once it's gone it's never going to come back,
And when you have love,then learn to feel it...

 
And I have love,
I have someone who cares for me,
I have someone who appeciate me,
And that person is my girlfriend Ng Sheau Veon,the only thing that gives me hope to try and try again...
Even if I fail today,I will try again because of her,I will learn my mistakes and try again,
Because she had not given up on me,so how can I give up so fast?
How could I lie to myself just because I have fail?
Now I see how it all makes sense as I am writing this blog,if only my teacher can see who is this girl that I found
that gave me hope he would have been so proud and happy...

So thank you so much Sheau Veon,you're right when you said ''If I fail now,it does not mean I will fail forever'' you're absolutely right,
I will re-take the test again and again until I pass....
Thank You for giving me hope...
I will not give up and let them win,
I will make you proud..
I love you so much... :)